Day 5: Tomorrow is the first day of my life

February 18, Day 5: Mark 1: 12-15

I was reluctant to write today as I just don't want to face the resident feeling of inner yuck-iness. I feel like I've undone whatever good or learning that came from the last 4 days which makes me feel quite useless overall.

 In short, the whole weekend was bit of a party as we had friends over. I sealed my fate (dramatic, much?) by staying up with everyone (most of who were pretty drunk) until 4 am. And of course, toddler woke me up just a few hours later (and by now I was really regretting it as I had managed to ignore the inner warning bells! :/)

Result: I woke up achy-bodied, sleepless and snappy (coz' of the first two) and this smog of uselessness followed  me around like a raincloud for the rest of the day.

Let's move on to the verse of the day from Mark 1:12-15

 "The Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the Gospel."

Thoughts: No major analysis required here. It is what is. Speaks directly to my situation. This verse is about the temptation of J. He didn't give in, however I did. Not sure what I was tempted by in the first place?

I'm not a strict, disciplined person by nature and having a good time gives me pleasure? like most humans. I guess I should not let my need to have a good time define me. It left me feeling empty.
 should stop letting this need have a hold on me, I'd probably have a genuinely good time then!

It's okay to feel bad about it, but I have to repent, accept the grace that comes with it, and move on for real. Tomorrow is another day.

Takeaway: No matter how bad are the things you do (or  don't do), God forgives. Also, remember to forgive yourself, and let it go. Don't hold on to memories that make you feel regretful and inadequate. As God does not do this. So, you shouldn't.


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