40 days of Reading the Bible by a Clueless, Wandering, Wannabe Christian

So, it's the 40th day! The final day of Lent is actually Holy Thursday. So, since I'd covered all the Sundays of lent, I've completed 39 days and gotten here without having ideally covered every reading in the Holy Week. To wrap up my exercise, I will focus on the verses from Thursday and (good) Friday to wrap up this exercise, as it's at the heart of Christian faith. I attended the service yesterday and was surprised to find almost half of it was in Polish - both songs and readings. Didn't realize there was such a huge Polish community in Taunton, UK and thought it interesting.  (Prayer and song sound even more intriguing when you don't understand the language so you are forced to go by feel and not by words).  Interestingly, unlike the case in India where 12 older folks are selected for the washing of the feet, the main priest walked down the middle of the church and washed different people's feet (seemingly at random). Maundy Thursday As a chil...

24 March, Day 39: John 11:45-56 I've a classmate from college who's released a book recently and she's always been sort of well, different. Eccentric. Is the right word. But, she's clever, smart and high achieving. She's done way better than most of her classmates, but somehow her words and behaviour (even now) are perceived as 'odd' sometimes. She's always been a subject of silent mockery, people have made fun of her, and even now when she's going about doing her thing. I know for a fact that there are people who resent it. I mean, "how can that weird girl do so well in life?" is an underlying murmur. I know it's horrible, but I too have been guilty of thinking such thoughts, even when I know it's terrible to think that way. We don't realize the many "lesser" forms of envy and jealousy takeover in our regular lives. In the way we judge others, in the way we disapprove of others, in the way that it bothers us that...

23 March, Day 38: John 10:31-42 Are you someone who can get over past hurts easily or someone who continues to feel bad about events even years later it has happened to them. I suppose it could depend on the severity of the wound inflicted. Most of us can't fully escape from emotional baggage from the previous years - be it hurting words or actions from people close (friends and family) or far (co-workers, acquaintances somebody in the larger community) Today's verse is from John 10: 31-42 Again his Jewish opponents picked up stones to stone him,  but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?” Thoughts: As mentioned earlier, the last few verses starting from this one  begins to show the sequence of events which led to his Crucifixation, starting from the growing restlessness of the crowds who are against Jesus, to Jesus openly speaking about his divinity, and then being at the recieving end of hostilit...

22 March: Day 37: John 8: 51-59 Few days more until the end of this little exercise. It's been a little bit trying to write to an invisible audience on things of a profound nature that I have very little real knowledge or understanding of. There have been days when I have been reluctant to put down anything, because things have flown over my head, and I feel a bit like a blind person stumbling in the dark. Anyway, now that the whining is out of the way. Today's verse is from John 8: 51-59 . “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds. Thoughts:  Imagine how blasphemous he must have sounded when he said those words. Abraham was one of the great founding fathers and leaders of the Jews and to specifically refer to him while declaring his divinity in such a brazen manner must have really riled them up. It engrages them so much that...

21 March, Day 36: John 8: 21-30 Nobody wants to be reminded about the presence of sin in their lives. It is more pervasive than we want to acknowledge or admit. But, wanting to be aware of it is far away from our thoughts. How many of us take the time to actively reflect and examine ourselves and our lives everyday - our thoughts, acts and behaviour? Nobody has the time or mindspace to spend on this kind of thing. Why face all these uncomfortable truths about ourselves? What is the purpose? It's quite uncomfortable to pay attention to and dwell on our weaknesses, so why even go there? Isn't life hard as it already is, without the need for all this self-imposed prodding and introspection. In fact, most of us are quite comfortable with the fact that we live pretty decent lives. We tend to follow the rules. We help people when we can and when it's convenient to us. We don't treat others very unkindly. Most of us are not inclined to, steal, kill or do something ex...

20 March, Day 35: John 8: 21-30 Hope you will read beyond the extremely cheesy title!!  (Backstreet Boys, 1997 😁) I remember that the first few months after moving to London to study in 2010 being some of my loneliest days. It wasn't fun being uprooted from my comfort zone of family and friends and moving to a foreign country on my own (cold, grey days that added to the depression!). I recall those times as I read today's verse from John 8: 21-30  The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him. Thoughts: Words of hope that could have served me well earlier if I had gone looking for it. I noticed that this week the Gospel readings about Jesus have him increasingly speaking about his divinity and while the words are quite plain, its meaning is often intense and heavy and requires real introspection. Of course this needs faith and trust of a spectacular sort, but we're called to follow Jesus's example here. 1) p...

19 March, Day 34: Matthew 1:16.18-21.24a I remember my mom telling this story in my childhood.  It was about her father who was posted in Iraq as an accountant during the first World War in the early 1900s. He apparently fell in love with a local girl there, and wanted to marry her. However, he had a dream where St.Joseph appeared to him and told to return home to Kerala, India where there was another, a Catholic girl called Mary (my grandmother :)) who was waiting for him, and she was the one who was meant to be. In an age of nearly extinct letters, postcards, 'message in a bottle's - this story always struck me as quaint and whimsical. Also, it paints a little picture of my grandfather, who I know so little of, as I have never met or seen him. This little story came to mind when I read today's verse which is from Mathew 1:16.18-21.24a : Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this chil...

18 March, Day 33: John 12: 20-33 Earlier today, this line from  Kite Runner by Khalid Hosseini, randomly popped into my mind: 'For you, a thousand times' over. (It basically means that a person is so devoted to the other that they are able to perform any task for them over and over again (limitless-ly), and without question.) If you have read the book or seen the movie, you'll know that line forms the crux of the story whose central theme is about repentance, and making amends. Despite having read it many years ago, I can still remember the beautiful and simple storytelling, the deep sorrow and regret it captures, and its bittersweet and triumphant finish. I won't explain how the quote relates to the story but for more context, read about it here . Or better still read the book! You won't regret it. And keep a pack of Kleenex very close. Today's verse than is from John 12: 20-33 : Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and...

17 March, Day 32: John 7:40-53 Well. It's a bit crazy how a month has passed in the blink of an eye... and when I note the day down at the start of every blog, I'm a little bit amazed. Surely, I'm not just 8 days from the end? Checked up on this, and turns out I will finish this blog 6 days before Easter. Did you know that Sundays are not included in the count of 40 days of Lent - I read that each one is treated as a mini-Easter celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus. Had no idea! Today's verse is from John 7: 40-53 Finally the temple guards went back to the chief priests and the Pharisees, who asked them, “Why didn’t you bring him in?”  “No one ever spoke the way this man does,” the guards replied. Thoughts: In today's verse the people are undecided on who Jesus really is. Some think he is a Prophet, others are sure he is the Messiah, and still others are doubtful about his background and identity. The guards who were sent to arrest him we...

16 March, Day 31 : John: 1-2.10 and 25-30 You know that sinking feeling you get when you know something horrible is about to happen in a movie you are watching or have watched many times? (Titanic, Braveheart, every episode of Game of Thrones) Where you wait reluctantly for that 'sad thing' to happen - be it a sinking ship, torture and killing of the hero or that war of mayhem where everybody dies! That's the feeling I get as we draw closer to Good Friday and the daily gospel is beginning to reflect that, against a more frequently appearing background of people murmuring and plotting against him and general fear, dislike and lack of acceptance of his teachings. Today's verse is from John 7:1.2-10 and 25-30 : Jesus cried out in the temple area as he was teaching and said, “You know me and also know where I am from.  Yet I did not come on my own, but the one who sent me, whom you do not know, is true. Thoughts:   Familiarity breeds contempt. Not sure about the...

15 March, Day 30: John 5: 31-47 To be honest, I feel like I have hit a saturation point with my daily reading of the Bible and writing after reflecting on its meaning, because at the bottom line, it is clear that we are all called to be ... well, saints! But, how far removed are most of us from the perfection demanded by the teachings of Jesus :s I am beginning to realise that there is only that much one can achieve by reading and interpreting. It can be hugely mentally satisfying of course. But, it may not be related to faith at all. This can easily turn into just another intellectual exercise, not that there's anything wrong with that. What's the point of reading any book, and especially a "holy" book if you don't allow it to influence your life or cause you to act differently. I suppose that takes real, true faith - a rarity for most? Today's verse is from John 5:31-47 : “The works that the Father gave me to accomplish, these works that I perform...

14 March, Day 29: John 5: 17-30 Never in my wildest dreams, did I ever think I'd maintain a blog this consistently over a short span of time. (There have been countless times that I have wanted to do this as an exercise and even now I've over 10 blogs in various stages of undress somewhere out there in the universe - anything but regular though!) What's even more unbelievable is that I would choose spirtuality/religion as a topic! (I've always had a list of other ideas for blogs - music, poetry, travel, relationships, parenting, life stuff - that I wanted to pursue. ) Over the course of almost a month or so, writing this blog has forced me to face certain uncomfortable truths. There are realisations that I can't turn my back on anymore. There has been the filling of gaps in my understanding. The shedding of light on various things. A boost in my knowledge. And, lots of peace. Plus the satisfaction of putting my thoughts out there to an "invisible" a...

13 March, Day 28: John 5:1-16 'Be the change you want to see in the world', said a famous person or a bumper sticker. Very few of us have the spirit or conviction to end up doing something radical and world-changing. As members of society/community, we are usually want to carry on with our little lives and are largely reluctant to want to be the first to speak out against anything. Well, now with the internet, everyone has a voice and an opinion, of course, on the most mundane and useless things on the planet. But, the majority of that is just empty noise, and canhardly qualify as revolutionary!! But, Jesus (and remember the times he lived in) was quite a rebel in this regard. And he had to have the qualities of one, to make a statement, to speak out against the status quo and change things. Today's verse from John 5:1-16 says: Jesus said to the invalid,“Rise, take up your mat, and walk.”  Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked. Thought...

12 March, Day 27: St. John 4: 43-54 It's very much part of human nature to want to see 'proof' before we believe anything. We tend to want to use fact and reasoning to shape our views of the world, and this is one of the ways we process information. However, there are things beyond human understanding that just cannot be proven - such as miracles, or faith. This is one of the reasons why so many dodgy 'spiritual people' exist and thrive. Because they tap into people's desire for the unknown. And this forces many of us to turn skeptics when it comes to God and spirituality. Today's verse is from John 4:43-54 : “Unless you people see signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.” Thoughts:  When Jesus travels from Judea to Gaililee, an official of the King come to him and begs him to heal his dying son. Jesus speaks the above words in response but declares to the Official that his son would live. Even before the Official reached hom...

11 March, Day 26: John 3:14-21 I'd often seen John 3:16 mentioned in random places (while watching a sporting event or at the back of a car or spray painted on a wall) without even knowing what it is referring to! It's a very widely known verse, and is said to be a summary of the whole Gospel - imagine that. To read it in full, do look up  John 3: 14-21 For God so loved the world, he gave his only son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but might have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. Thoughts: Profound words, whose meaning tends to linger for a while. This is the very point of Christianity, it is its essence. Every day until now, I've always tried to find a solid message from the daily Gospel to take away to practically apply in my life. But this verse stands out as it purely rests on faith over complete understanding. So, I try to awaken my faith nd a...

10 March, Day 25: Luke 18: 9-14 According to the rules of the world, to be humble, is to potentially seem like a loser, or at its worst, be a doormat. "If you got it, flaunt it" tends to be the norm. We see it everywhere.  Any "successful" person didn't get to the top by his humility, and you could even say a certain amount of hubris is required to propel anyone to the top in any field. So why do people say 'Pride goes before a fall'? Because at some point you will be exposed and appear stupid, whether you choose to believe it or not. I was watching the Obama interview with David Letterman out on Netflix, and the humility in the man seems to shine through, despite him having risen to the top office in the world. Of course, he is not saint, and what is seen on the outside is deceptive, plus he seems a million miles ahead of his successor. Despite all this, he is a prime example of confidence, tempered with humility. Moving on to today's ver...

9 March, Day 24: Mark 12, 28b-34 I always knew Christianity spoke about love and charity, but I had always taken it for granted. After all, in the real world, nice guys supposedly finish last, don't they? I mean if you are among the unlucky few who are working in a cut throat environment, then you'll probably question the application of "love and charity". But again, nobody said  that wordly success would lead to inner joy and freedom. So, it depends on what your goals are, and what you are looking for in life. Today's verse is from Mark 12, 28b-34 : Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Thoughts: When Jesus was asked to pick the most important Commandments (handed down by Moses and the law of the time), he said the above in response. Love God and love others. This is the essence of Christian life. ...

8 March, Day 23: Luke 11: 14-23 Do all paths lead to God? Why are people so insistent that their 'path' is the best above others? Does believing in one faith, automatically mean the other religions are null or void? Is there one truth for everybody, or does every person have their own version of the truth. A number of puzzling questions come to the surface at the end of reading today's verse which is from  Luke 11:14-23 "Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters." Thoughts:   In today's verse, Jesus drives out a demon from a mute man who was able to speak as a result. Even though the people watching were impressed, they commented saying that it must be by the power of evil. To which Jesus says, well then that makes no sense as why would the devil want to drive out a devil? ("a kingdom divided, falls") He adds that it is by the power of God that he does it. Demon - could have a metaphorical mean...

7 March, Day 22: Mathew 5: 17-19  When I get into a philosophical mood, and especially, when I can't make sense of certain happenings and events in life, I always ultimately fall back on "It's meant to be" or "It's not meant to be" as the situation is. That's how I deal with dissapointments and setbacks, coz' we usually ask questions ("Why!!" when we things get rocky, not so much when things are rosy and cosy. Who controls these things? We don't for sure. There are invisible forces at work that conspire to make things happen for us (“ And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. ”). Today's verse from Mathew 5: 17-19 says, Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Thoughts: So Jesus says that he hasn't come to undo all the work that was done before him (i.e the proph...

6 March, Day 21: Mathew 18: 21-35 Christianity is one of the few religions that  places a major emphasis on 'forgiveness'. There are just numerous references to it, especially in the New Testament when Jesus came to change the system, and tell people about the non-violent way of going about doing things. I think it's because it makes it harder to love somebody when we hold resentment, anger or bitterness against them. A lack of forgiveness stops us from loving other people, and ourselves too in a way - as we end up being the smaller person when we dwell on things. Today's verse is from Mathew 18: 21-35 Thoughts: Jesus uses the parable of the unmerciful servant to respond to Peter when he asks him how many times should he forgive. Jesus says just about a million times (well, 70 times 7 to be exact is what he says). The story goes like this. A servant owned a huge amount to his King, but was not able to repay it. To repay the debt, his master ordered that he b...

5 March, Day 20: Luke 4:24-30 I am half-way through. Here are a few realizations that have dawned on me thus far. The quest for truth and joy and peace starts from within. Not at the head. But from the heart. The more open and accepting you are of any good principles/religious readings/positive messages, and engage with it everyday , the more it starts to play a positive role in influencing your behaviour and actions and ultimately, life About practice: The key is in picking up where your last left off, and moving on as per usual.  Enough said. The daily verse today is from Luke 4:24-32 “Truly I tell you,” he continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown.  I assure you that there were many widows in Israel in Elijah’s time, when the sky was shut for three and a half years and there was a severe famine throughout the land. Yet Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a widow in Zarephath in the region of Sidon. And there were many in Israel with leprosy ...

 4 March, Day 19: John 2: 13-25 One of the things I hate most about religion, second to fundamentalism, is its commercialization or people making money off God or religion. I've had a personal experience of this at a church in Kerala, India where you could pay a priest to pray for you. People stood in long queues to buy his prayers, right outside the church, within its grounds. There are other examples of world-famous preachers and so-called religious leaders (across religions) who amass a huge following doing the same, pushing "religion" onto a mass of believers, performing miracles and healings and selling a brand name - providing opium to the people. One such religious "leader" in India, now had a multi-million FMCG consumer brand. I've always found this repulsive and disgusting, yet people lap it up - for their good or not- I don't know! On one hand you can argue, if people are taking something good away from it to apply to their lives, than...

3 March, Day 18: Luke 1-3, 11-32 I think it's part of human nature to compare ourselves to our peers. We compare houses, cars, jobs, children and even their achievements. We just can't help it! Some would even say its a yardstick by which we measure our lives, after all, we don't live our lives in isolation. Some would say, that this is even necessary - comparing ourselves to other people could even push us to be better or aim for higher or be more competitive. Even when we see people who are prospering and doing "amazing" things with their lives (hello Facebook), it either irritates us (why overshare?) or makes us feeling a tiny bit envious about why are lives are not as awesome as that constantly holidaying/partying friend from school, or the hi-flying career person or the fitness freak and marathon runner who has gone to size 0 in a few months, and now has albums of photos to vouch for it(!!). Nobody likes to admit it, but it's real, however wise, Go...

2 March, Day 17: Mathew 21: 33-46 Yesterday, there was unusually heavy snowfall in the South West of England, and my little town of Taunton, Somerset was covered in a feet or two of snow. Life came to a mini stand-still with schools and most offices shut for the next few days. When I was working previously full-time, I remember the weekdays getting lost in the routine of the mad morning rush, commute, work, commute, home, food, sleep, repeat. I always longed for the freedom to stand and stare  just for a tiny bit, and just to remove myself from the empty 'busy-ness' of life. This snowy day sort of represented that for me. Whether you like it or not, certain uncontrolled events or happenings will happen ... and make life come to a temporary halt, giving you a break or a chance to re-examine things.   I took ages to decipher this verse and struggled with its takeaway, hence the delay. It's from Mathew 21: 33-46 . (If you have never heard of this parable befor...

1 March, Day 16: Luke 16:19-31 Today, I struggled with putting down my reflections for verse of the day, as for a long time I couldn't go beyond the obvious explanation of the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus . It is one of those parables which most Christians have heard dozens of times. The singular interpretation which has been explained to us basically is that rich man goes to hell, poor man goes to heaven. So, wealth = evil. Now this was imprinted in my child-like mind, that it is not good to be a material or wordly person.  The pursuit of money leads you to doom-dom, it is the root of all evils and all that. Reading it this time around, I tried to look beyond my simplistic takeaway to see if there was anything else I needed to pay attention to. The verse is from  Luke 16: 19-31 Thoughts: The parable goes like this. There's a rich man who lives in luxury, and a poor beggar man who suffers through his life right outside his doorstep. When both die, the poor ma...